Take Me On Your Mighty Wings Across the Sky

well... ive been posting sad depressing songs for so long i cant remember any good ones! heheh. well since i built up working this weekend with the boy to anyone who would listen.... i might as well keep talking. well, last nite it seemed like the whole store was in a bad mood and especially scott ( his ex gf was horrible to him yesterday )and he was gettin misty eyed when he was talking to me. he spent the rest of the night not really talking to anyone and was short with everyone. well, he spent hte last hour apologizing to me and he did the same thing today, about a million and 2 times. heheh. it was sweet. and i can sympathize, so its all good. (b/c of the rain i wore my hair curlee yesterday bc of the rain ) and wore it straight today and he was just like " o god, i love you like that." and it was soo great today with him. everyone was in a great mood even tho damien should stick an m80 up his butt and lite it.... but anyways. it was so funny today and i love being with him. i started to feel really bad because there is this new girl sue who is absolutely gorgeous and all the guys are like drooling over her feet. and i guess i looked a little upset and he walked up behind me grabbed my waist and just whispers in my ear " i think you're the sexy one " and walked away. it was cute. so anyways, we leave to drop me home and we were just talking about lots of stuff and the story with his ex. and at the end he was like "i felt so bad yesterday and im gonna turn into an alcoholic cuz of it all " and i was just like no dont do that you dont have to " and he was like " i just sit alone by myself, theres nothing else for me " and i was like " you dont have to drink and you dont have to be alone " or sumthing like that... and he was like "really, do you mean you'd hang out with me?" and i go yeh. and by now we're pulllin up my street and when i said yeh he stopped the car in the middle of the street turns to me and goes " so if i asked you to go to a movie sumtime with me, you'd go ?" and i was like " yeh id love to go see a movie with you" yes it sounds corny to everyone else but it was the greatest for me. and we pull up to the " house after the boat " and he was like "thanks for listening, i feel so much betterr talking to you... and i feel amazing because you said you'd wanna be with me. i know you're working tom. and im not but ill try to stop in to see you " he was holding my hand at this point. we said gnight and he honked the horn all the way up the block ( which was weird ) but it was funny. im really happy. i mean, nothings official and maybe sumday we'll go out, but i feel great when im with him. heh. im happy. the best part was the car. im happy. i didnt think i could be anymore. JACKIE!! i tried calling you cuz im freakin out rite now and im pysched and i cant get in touch GRR. i gotta tell someone haha.

"deep inside ur eyes im blinded by ur love "

LEARN TO FLY


Run and tell all of the angels
This could take all night
Think I need a devil to help me get things right
Hook me up a new revolution
Cause this one is a lie
We sat around laughing and watched the last one die
I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something to help me burn out bright
I'm looking for complication
Looking cause I'm tired of lying ( trying)
Make my way back home when I learn to fly
I think I'm done nursing the patience
I can wait one night
I'd give it all away if you give me one last try
We'll live happily ever trapped if you just save my life
Run and tell the angels that everything is alright..
Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone
Try and make this life my own


yeh you know who sings this...!



Im so close to being happy and to being where i want to be and feeling the way i want to feel, about myself, and my life, but i feel like something is standing in the way and i dont know what it is. i want so badly to be happy and hyper like times gone by, but i dont remember how. im so close but i think that the one thing holding me back is me. " i am my own worst enemy" i look in the mirror and dont like the physical person staring back at me. im not being superficial and vain or anything, but i they way i look really gets me down. altho jackie says im not, i think im a slug or sumthing. everyone else seems so pretty and then theres me, the troll. i belong under a bridge. dontcha think? heh. its almost funny. well at least im goin in to work tomorrow. i cant wait to see scott. i hope it all works out. just picturing him makes me smile. and i havent smiled in a long time.

well, as ive explained to a coupla people, or anyone who'll listen, im totally head over heels for the boy. i miss him alot and i cant wait to go to work on friday cuz i know hes working friday. im getting cynical in regards to the 'does he like me back' part, but im sumwhat hopeful still. i like him like crazy and keep picturing his smile in my head. i really hope this one works out. ive never been all giddy over a guy before. girlie girl. it feels weird. paul said hed pray for me, and that he thinks itll work out. joe said this sounds like itll prolli work out too. jackies supportive, thanks doll. everything you said today helped alot. i just wanna see him, without jill there..the complications suck there but i cant do anything about that. i wanna go to work damnit! and i want my PL pictures back... maybe tonite says mom. the eternal mother answer... we'll get em later! heheh. i was advised that id make a great bar dancer ( think of coyote ugly ) any one else care to comment ! hahaha! well, gnight.

"cuz im dreaming of you tonite"

well, as ive explained to a coupla people, or anyone who'll listen, im totally head over heels for the boy. i miss him alot and i cant wait to go to work on friday cuz i know hes working friday. im getting cynical in regards to the 'does he like me back' part, but im sumwhat hopeful still. i like him like crazy and keep picturing his smile in my head. i really hope this one works out. ive never been all giddy over a guy before. girlie girl. it feels weird. paul said hed pray for me, and that he thinks itll work out. joe said this sounds like itll prolli work out too. jackies supportive, thanks doll. everything you said today helped alot. i just wanna see him, without jill there..the complications suck there but i cant do anything about that. i wanna go to work damnit! and i want my PL pictures back... maybe tonite says mom. the eternal mother answer... we'll get em later! heheh. i was advised that id make a great bar dancer ( think of coyote ugly ) any one else care to comment ! hahaha! well, gnight.

"cuz im dreaming of you tonite"

This weekend was great !!!! forget that friends thing i posted... i dont give a flyin fuck about that/them... this weekend kicked. i worked a lot and drove a lot.... scott was there. im beaming rite now. i wore my hair straight today and yesterday and yesterday everyone was like ' o its great.. doesnt she look pretty ' so i did it again for tonite and scott saw me and was like " you look soo amazing, you look so good, i cant believe it, you're gorgeous " and later on he was like " i cant stop looking at your eyes and smile " maybe you can call it vanity but i doubt it... but it felt really really good to have someone say that to me. later on andy comes up to me and pulls me over and starts asking me all these questions about what i think about scott and ecetera... it was cute. do you like him better with his goatee or without, what about his ponytail ( yeh a pony tail ) god knows what i equate that with. hehe. well.... maybe he likes me back. prolli not. we talked every free minute either of us had. jackie, hes twenty. like anyone else cares but i just wanna get it all out before i explode. hes just got these great eyes and cute little smile... hes got a baby face... i think hes been flirting with me. he offered to take me for a ride with him on a delivery and i was shit yeh...but my dad came in to pick me up, so next time. this kid just makes me smile and like joe said " its about time " thats weird as it is. he makes me smile and i havent done that in a really long time. haha, on top of which, on of the front ends, travis, finally started talking today. that kid hasnt said two whole words and hes been here since july. well, im excited to see whats gonna happen with scott. hes a cool kid ( i wonder if its a big thing that hes twenty ?) and i like being with him. apparently he had some trouble with authority in his senior year and i dont know what happened after that. kinda a bad boy.. but a guitarist and an artist... so i think it evens out. altho, hes never heard of 12 stones and turned his nose us at lp... but who cares. i feel so alive and energized. i wonder where to go from here... im working with him tom. and i think all of next week... yay !

'run and tell the angels that everythings alrite'