Friday, June 07, 2002
looking into your eyes
i see all i want to be
i don't want it to end
if i could only put to words the way
i see you
i only know i have an angel with me now
and when i fall asleep
you're all that i see
you're in my thoughts
and all of my prayers
i wish i could be
all that you mean to me
my angel without wings
my angel
i wish you could see
all that you mean me
but i can never find the words
to tell you
and when i fall asleep
you're all that i see
you're in my thoughts
and all of my prayers
i wish i could be
all that you mean to me
and when i fall asleep
you're all that i see
you're in my thoughts
and all of my prayers
i wish i could be
all that you mean to me
my angel without wings
unwritten law "you're my angel"
god i really wish you could see....
Crawling
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling, I can't seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced
That it's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem...
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced
That it's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing, confusing what is real
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing what is real
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling, confusing what is real
do i even have to write who sings that great but sad song... i think NOT. well i gotta go practice for laurens confirmation. ill write down the play by play commentary on why i feel so shitty later on....
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling, I can't seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced
That it's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem...
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced
That it's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing, confusing what is real
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing what is real
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling, confusing what is real
do i even have to write who sings that great but sad song... i think NOT. well i gotta go practice for laurens confirmation. ill write down the play by play commentary on why i feel so shitty later on....
Monday, June 03, 2002
Sunday, June 02, 2002
hey guys whatup? im gettin ready to go to a communion party. haha. pray for me. or even better, if you ever wanted the chance to save me... gimme a call on my "cellie phone" so as to keep me from banging my head against the wall.... its 732 754 2615. please help to keep me sane, for today anyways.
well friday nite was my sisters 8th grade dance. her date got her a corsage... how cute. we stopped by early to see all of them. since ive watched em grow up to.. one boy asked me to dance. haha. i dont remember being that corny in 8th grade altho im sure we were. it brought back cool memories actually.
saturday was SATs. ugh. all i can say about that is UGH. but my old friends kenny and my old best friend sarah were in my room. god... they went from two sweeties to one player and one slut. in this case, i can safely say that im the one that changed for the better. god knows i couldnt get any worse.
i have two very odd dreams last nite. the first one was the good one ... it was just a bunch of friends hangin out...and everyone having fun... the group was weird tho. it was thomas and breanne, two of laurens friends, michelle and john and other people i didnt recognize.... we were down the boat, chilling. the normal people one would expect to be hangin with us werent there. o well... i wonder if that means anything...perhaps. ::scratches imaginary beard:: i dunno the rest, but it was fun.
the second dream scared the shit outta me. in the dream.... first i was talkin to liz ( imp ) and we were talkin about how we wish she could come on the london trip. itll be my first year without her. we were talkin about the good times and the good peoples and the not so good peoples. then she asked me who was goin this year and i told her and she was like 'whoa thats a whole tightknit really close group of friends... they're inseperable... who are you gonna hang out with if im not there?" and it got me thinking and then later on in the dream... we were in london ( i could tell cuz we were chillin with big ben --- jackie...ill get you a picture.) and there were two very distinct groups within our group. one was Me. and then the whole rest of them in the other. i was completely left out and those promises by a bunch of them that i wouldnt be left out... yup..those turned to ash in front of my eyes. its actually happened before... but i didnt like that dream. ick. o well.
well i gotta go get all pretti-ful ( if its humanly possible) so i can go to the communion party .... remember gimme a call if you can. ill be your best friend if you can save me from the land of little people.
well friday nite was my sisters 8th grade dance. her date got her a corsage... how cute. we stopped by early to see all of them. since ive watched em grow up to.. one boy asked me to dance. haha. i dont remember being that corny in 8th grade altho im sure we were. it brought back cool memories actually.
saturday was SATs. ugh. all i can say about that is UGH. but my old friends kenny and my old best friend sarah were in my room. god... they went from two sweeties to one player and one slut. in this case, i can safely say that im the one that changed for the better. god knows i couldnt get any worse.
i have two very odd dreams last nite. the first one was the good one ... it was just a bunch of friends hangin out...and everyone having fun... the group was weird tho. it was thomas and breanne, two of laurens friends, michelle and john and other people i didnt recognize.... we were down the boat, chilling. the normal people one would expect to be hangin with us werent there. o well... i wonder if that means anything...perhaps. ::scratches imaginary beard:: i dunno the rest, but it was fun.
the second dream scared the shit outta me. in the dream.... first i was talkin to liz ( imp ) and we were talkin about how we wish she could come on the london trip. itll be my first year without her. we were talkin about the good times and the good peoples and the not so good peoples. then she asked me who was goin this year and i told her and she was like 'whoa thats a whole tightknit really close group of friends... they're inseperable... who are you gonna hang out with if im not there?" and it got me thinking and then later on in the dream... we were in london ( i could tell cuz we were chillin with big ben --- jackie...ill get you a picture.) and there were two very distinct groups within our group. one was Me. and then the whole rest of them in the other. i was completely left out and those promises by a bunch of them that i wouldnt be left out... yup..those turned to ash in front of my eyes. its actually happened before... but i didnt like that dream. ick. o well.
well i gotta go get all pretti-ful ( if its humanly possible) so i can go to the communion party .... remember gimme a call if you can. ill be your best friend if you can save me from the land of little people.
