Monday, March 04, 2002
The last fire will rise
Behind those eyes
Black house will rock
Blind boys don’t lie
Immortal fear
That voice so clear
Through broken walls
That scream ‘I hear’
Cry little sister
"Thou shall not fall"
Come, Come to your brother
"Thou shall not fly"
Unchain me sister
"Thou shall not steal"
Love is with your brother
"Thou shall not kill"
The masquerade
Strangers will come
When will they learn
This loneliness
Temptation heat
Beats like a drum
Deep in your veins
I will not lie to little sister
"Thou shall not fall"
Come, come to your brother
"Thou shall not fly"
Unchain me sister
"Thou shall not steal"
Love is with your brother
"Thou shall not kill"
My Shangri-La
I can’t forget
Why you were mine
I need you now
Cry little sister
"Thou shall not fall"
Come, come to your brother
"Thou shall not fly"
Unchain me sister
"Thou shall not steal"
Love is with your brother
"Thou shall not kill"
Cry, Cry, Cry
"Thou shall not fall"
Little sister
"Thou shall not fly"
Thou shall not steal"
Love is with your brother
"Thou shall not kill"
cry little sister ( lost boys soundtrack ) sisters of mercy
im so emotionally destroyed. in every way possible. it hurts to feel. it hurts to breathe. throughout today, i wrote down random things, feelings, little tidbits of things that i felt. how many times can a heart be broken and destroyed before it can no longer be rebuilt. the pain of my past, mixed today with the pain of the present, you gave, and its insurmountable. sometimes, like today, i really do wonder how many times will i fall into the shadows and survive. i fall, silently and alone. i cannot find one sincere person who cares. how pathetic. loathing self hatred and self pity are paralyzing. it used to be that people just pretended to care, a temporary 'band aid' and now, they dont even pretend to care. i used to be able to lie to myself, fake myself into believing that people cared about me. well, this realization hit me square in the face. there is no one out there who gives a damn about me. i need a catharsis. i need to be washed clean of all feeling, all emotion. im so sensitive and the pain of being alone will one day destroy me. and i feel like this all the time. solitude and despair. no one cares. "i feel it everyday i feel i made my way i feel it swell up inside swell up inside swallowing me." there are two songs that are the epitome of what i feel. my december and part of me. of course they are by linkin park. i used to able to rely on myself when the world let me down, but i cant do it anymore. there is no solace. i cant find comfort. 'in my mind i find i cant rely on myself' all i want are people to care about me. its hard to give your heart to people, ur friends, guys, and watch your heart get hurt. ill always be there for people, i can always give of myself. but when you constantly reach out to people, and never get anything back from them, its tiring. it hurts. everything hurts. i wish for friends and people who care. heh o well.
gnight
Behind those eyes
Black house will rock
Blind boys don’t lie
Immortal fear
That voice so clear
Through broken walls
That scream ‘I hear’
Cry little sister
"Thou shall not fall"
Come, Come to your brother
"Thou shall not fly"
Unchain me sister
"Thou shall not steal"
Love is with your brother
"Thou shall not kill"
The masquerade
Strangers will come
When will they learn
This loneliness
Temptation heat
Beats like a drum
Deep in your veins
I will not lie to little sister
"Thou shall not fall"
Come, come to your brother
"Thou shall not fly"
Unchain me sister
"Thou shall not steal"
Love is with your brother
"Thou shall not kill"
My Shangri-La
I can’t forget
Why you were mine
I need you now
Cry little sister
"Thou shall not fall"
Come, come to your brother
"Thou shall not fly"
Unchain me sister
"Thou shall not steal"
Love is with your brother
"Thou shall not kill"
Cry, Cry, Cry
"Thou shall not fall"
Little sister
"Thou shall not fly"
Thou shall not steal"
Love is with your brother
"Thou shall not kill"
cry little sister ( lost boys soundtrack ) sisters of mercy
im so emotionally destroyed. in every way possible. it hurts to feel. it hurts to breathe. throughout today, i wrote down random things, feelings, little tidbits of things that i felt. how many times can a heart be broken and destroyed before it can no longer be rebuilt. the pain of my past, mixed today with the pain of the present, you gave, and its insurmountable. sometimes, like today, i really do wonder how many times will i fall into the shadows and survive. i fall, silently and alone. i cannot find one sincere person who cares. how pathetic. loathing self hatred and self pity are paralyzing. it used to be that people just pretended to care, a temporary 'band aid' and now, they dont even pretend to care. i used to be able to lie to myself, fake myself into believing that people cared about me. well, this realization hit me square in the face. there is no one out there who gives a damn about me. i need a catharsis. i need to be washed clean of all feeling, all emotion. im so sensitive and the pain of being alone will one day destroy me. and i feel like this all the time. solitude and despair. no one cares. "i feel it everyday i feel i made my way i feel it swell up inside swell up inside swallowing me." there are two songs that are the epitome of what i feel. my december and part of me. of course they are by linkin park. i used to able to rely on myself when the world let me down, but i cant do it anymore. there is no solace. i cant find comfort. 'in my mind i find i cant rely on myself' all i want are people to care about me. its hard to give your heart to people, ur friends, guys, and watch your heart get hurt. ill always be there for people, i can always give of myself. but when you constantly reach out to people, and never get anything back from them, its tiring. it hurts. everything hurts. i wish for friends and people who care. heh o well.
gnight
